Weight loss begins

So my doctor told me I need to lose weight.  I mean really, I need to lose weight.  It took me 2 months to get my body into a program through my clinic.  It is meal replacement and it tastes a lot like paste, but flavor additives make a HUGE difference.

I have some huge anxiety issues but the program comes with weekly doctor's appointments and weekly counseling classes.  It's like food rehab.  My boyfriend thinks it's a gimmick and I think gimmicks don't include weekly visits with endocrinologists. I think he understands I need support and criticism will place limits on his happiness.

I have always had issues with food.  And who hasn't? Really?  I mean it's our fuel.  Nursing develops hormones in mom and baby alike that bind us to one another.  We are brought into this world demonstrating food means love.

It's in our faces.  It's what we do every day.  We are bombarded with super mega gynormous taco pack with a 60 oz soda for $5.  And I will be the first to confess the switch to diet soda only justified a second taco.

I've decided that I work really well with boundaries.  I have little goals set.  I want to fit in a certain, realistic dress.  I want to be able to move through my space without sweating or getting winded.  I don't want to be afraid to see my doctor.  I want to die with all my fingers and toes attached.

I told my boyfriend, "It isn't about body image.  Lexapro takes care of that.  It's about health and comfort.  I am too big for the space I want to occupy."

So, here I go.  I'm stopping at World Market to get some sugar free flavored syrups for the shakes and maybe get some unsweetened cocoa powder while I'm there.  If you're going to do it, do it right.

I'll post the before and after pics when I'm satisfied with the after image.