Several weeks ago I went to lunch with a guy who had a very distinctive posture and he too lived in the bustling metropolis of Bastrop. There was a man there with a similar posture. I realized they were the same person. I confessed to my boyfriend, "Look, I went out to lunch with that guy. He may stop by and say something." They are apparently acquaintances. "You went out with him? Really? He's married." I was tasked with updating him.
Now let me back up a bit. I don't have this sordid history to be ashamed of. I met them both via a personal ad and we went out. Charles just happened to be far more appealing and he made me blush. There's a certain appeal to being gently nudged outside your comfort zone. The other guy was nice. We were able to fill 45 minutes with conversation and he bought me lunch. That was it.
Charles is a cheap date. Two glasses of wine and he's giddy. A direct quote is, "I'm a guy. If it was funny in seventh grade, it's funny now." He lives by this. So I spent most of the night laughing and shaking my head as he giggled about "winning the Internet."
Finally the former date came to my table. He said, "Do I know you?" I nodded. "Melissa, right?" Yes. He looked to Charles and Charles re-introduced himself and then, "Are you two together?" Collective nod. "Oh, wow Man, congratulations. This is a wonderful woman." Then there were the usual platitudes and "oh it was just lunch," and "no hard feelings?" None. Okay, good to see you, bye now. Then he said, "Wow this is awkward." and I said, "Everything's fine."
When he left it was suggested, by Charles, to my surprise that my former date perceived the lunch we had as more than "just lunch." What?... I felt terrible for a few minutes. I worked through it pretty quickly.
Let me be clear about one thing. The former date made no attempt to contact me after the date so I just assumed he felt the same. There was no chemistry. He may have felt it, but I didn't and it's pretty hard to fake it.
Now, this next part is conjecture. This conversation took place during the band's break. One of the band members came to talk to is. Charles and I were fond of each other. He licked the hummus bowl and we agreed he was a cheap date.
I noticed the former date hadn't returned to his table. There was a woman I presume was his date because she looked uncomfortable. His phone was still on the table. His liquor was still on the table. His cooler was still next to the table. Everyone at the table left about an hour later, leaving his things behind. "I wonder where he went," was mentioned by one of us.
I can't help but wonder if he left because of me. I don't take any responsibility for his angst or discomfort. It was explained later that sometimes guys do this. They make up this story in their minds about a woman and when it is destroyed it's devastating. I can't imagine though that I would have that effect on anyone.
I can relate of course because I have been in a similar emotional scenario, but after lunch or coffee if I really felt a connection, the first few days would be rough. After, I'd be fine. If I did have that effect on him, it was several weeks later. It's time to let go.
So, Charles and I spent the rest of the evening enjoying the band. He told me about the band's history and the bass player's birthday. He explained his relationship with Rory, the bongo and washboard player. He's also an excellent singer. He introduced me to Rory's wife and she is lovely. All in all I had a really great evening and yet another interesting story to relate about my time with Charles.
To the lunch date, if you've discovered this blog, I wish you well.
