Yes, He's blond

 I found this little guy on the way to my car Saturday.  

Apparently not all squirrels are tan.  I have seen some blackish, calico ones, but they're kind of weird and disgusting.  This guy is cute.

Apparently there is a legend about them.  I looked it up and he doesn't appear to be an albino squirrel.  I think he's just blonde.  He has some pigmentation.

I found this link about albino squirrels on the UT Campus.  It's totally stupid to suggest this is true, but they are college students asked about weird squirrels, on the spot.  I know they're getting their education and likely the future of tomorrow, but some of them make me want hang my head and cry.  Ok. Not really, but you'll see.

UT Legend of the Albino Squirrel

This picture is from the following link.

Everyone has a story

Great Twitter Status

Some people deserve a high-five, in the face, with a chair.

To that I say, INDEED!  I am in all reality very, very non-violent.  But come on... you all know it.  We all know someone that could stand to have a few teeth knocked out of their head.

I'd say, "You know who you are," but the people I direct that to will never read this blog.  Well, they might, but they'll feel exempt from that statement. 

So, for the record, if we have ever had an emotional discussion that left you questioning the condition of your car after I left, you might deserve a high-five, in the face, with a chair.

If apologies have been said and hugs have been exchanged you are excluded.  I'm mainly discussing former family members and members of management that drove me to a special state of "crazy."  

Now for a dose of hilarity, what if the men in the Avengers were posed like the women?  This made me laugh.  Look at The Hulk.

56 pounds and 14% of my total body mass lost

So I'm sure both of you are wondering, "Is she still on the diet she was yapping about a few months ago?"  Yes.  Yes, I am.  I have lost 56 pounds.  I have lost 14% of my total body mass.  It's been really hard.  I went through a few weeks where I was a basket case.  Literally I was all weepy and depressed and sad.  I was making weird decisions and sleeping all the time and felt like a failure.  It's been suggested that as I achieve weight loss markers I need to define what I was doing the last time I was at this weight.

The last time I was at that weight my father was actively dying.  My stepson was lying, stealing, using drugs and getting arrested.  I got a phone call from my ex at 2am saying Paul, his 13 year-old son, had stolen the car.  So, yeah, I was a bit stressed.  "Sorry Dear, my dad's dying and there's nothing I can do."  was on the list of the most difficult things I've ever had to say.  I had to accept defeat from the actions of a 13 year-old, leave my codependency with my ex behind to let him handle it and spend the next day reading The Kite Runner to my father while he died in hospice care.

So yeah, that was an odd weight.  I feel like I'm shedding pieces of myself.  Everyone is like, "You're melting away."  I suppose literally, yes, I'm burning fat cells.  Apparently my heart is in good shape.  My brain chemistry is off.  My psychiatrist said that's normal though.  He suggested I should have seen him sooner because some crazy meds are prescribed based on weight.  He's right.  I know he's right.  You should check out this website if you take any.  It's written in English for people who don't have a bachelor's degree in biochemistry.  You still have to be sort of smart but a high school diploma and a little bit of curiosity will be plenty.  Crazy meds

I think I'm through the worst of it.  Well there's that and I started taking a new crazy med.  It's taken it's sweet-ass time working but it's working.

My friend asked me today, "What were you doing the last time you were at this weight?"  I don't remember.  I have spent so many years avoiding my weight I don't know what I was doing.  I suppose the fact I was avoiding my weight is a sign of the bigger problems.  I'm not sure what the tipping point was.

I suppose because I finished the first phase and I am still in it I'm a bit discouraged but I'm still losing weight at a rate requiring additional medical maintenance bla bla bla... anyway 56 pounds is HUGE.  Regardless of all the drama associated with the process I'm really pleased with myself.

Next time:  My ex.  Prepare to be amazed by how crazy someone can be.

When life's got ya down

If I'd been drinking when I saw this I would have spewed it straight through my nose.  That reaction automatically moves it to the top of the humor scale.

If this doesn't make you howl go back to sleep

Farewell Comrade

My friend David is retiring today and I would first like to say that he is a punk for leaving.  When he told me I was angry for about 10 minutes.  He said, "Hey, guess what..."  No preparation was had.  No conversation a month ago to say, "I'm thinking about retiring."  Just that he's retiring and there's nothing I could do change that. His wife probably thinks I'm nuts but that's fine. (I kind of am.)

So my favorite story about David involves the dog pictured above.

I'm sure anyone who has read my blog knows I love dogs.  I l.o.v.e. dogs.  So he said one day, again, out of the blue, "You wanna see Stick?" I wondered why he wanted to show me a picture of a stick but agreed because we're all kind of nuts when you really get down to it.  He whips out his phone and there's this picture of the cutest dog ever.

One day we were working together and he asked me again if he'd shown me Stick and I said he had, but he passed me the phone anyway and there she was.  So the next question was, "Why is her name Stick?"

It turns out when she was a puppy she got sick and they had to give her glucose.  They got it on her face and started to all her StickyFace which was shortened to "Stick" but occasionally "Nicole."

His wife, Rebecca, who also works in our department, ratted him out on this one.  Apparently when they first got Stick, David would refer to her as "Nicole." Only when they were out was her name Nicole.  He would almost feel ashamed of her too, which made me glower.  Rebecca told this story about when they went to Home Depot with Stick and Rebecca had to carry her because he was a tough guy in home depot.  It is very difficult to hold up those appearances when you have a Yorkie with pink bows on her head in your arms.

So, a few weeks ago we were passed work that is completely unrelated to our job.  He was at my desk showing me how to do something.  Rebecca came over raising hell.  David pulled out his phone and said, "I think we should look at Stick."  In our office, full of analysts I emitted a hearty guffaw that I'm sure woke up Karen.

I demanded that he email me a picture of Stick because he had to train me how to do his work.  I am the lucky beneficiary of Open Records requests and they're complicated.  Now, I have Stick on my desktop.  Before we did something new he would say, "Okay we should look at Stick before we start this next part."

So, David, you've taught me a lot and I've come to regard you as a friend.  I'll miss you and I'll try to do this job without you.  You certainly helped me look smarter than I am.  I wish you well in your retirement and Stick will remain on my desktop for those times when the Open Records requests pile up and I jack up the JCL so Henry has to rescue me... again.

Farewell,
Melissa

I love my boss

Henry helped me define a new form of love.  I love him so much I want to knit for him.  He is totally a "good guy."  I don't think there's a bad bone in him or I didn't until he cursed one day.  "If we have the opportunity we are getting rid of that SHIT!"  I was stunned.  He apologized and I said, "No, I'm just surprised."  Then I followed with a strongly worded email about how I'm the foul mouthed bitch in this family and I don't appreciate him stealing my thunder.  He chuckled.  If he really knew me he'd probably be shocked and pray for me but that's fine too.  He accepts I'm a bleeding heart liberal which he equates to hemorrhoids and goes about his business appreciative of the fact I am willing to learn about tax rates and he doesn't have to worry about it.

He sent me this gem: