So last night I go to visit my friend Amy who is now the proud human to my former cat Buddha. We all used to live together. When my ex husband, who got Buddha in the divorce, fizzed out, I called Amy. She did me a solid and took him in.
I like to visit them because Amy is my friend and I have known and loved Bu since he was a kitten. He was my cat and I was his biscuit. He has spent many hours on my lap making biscuits. My ex finally broke him of the habit until the last time I went to visit Amy and he sat right in my lap and went to kneading my belly.
I understood the parking policy in her apartments to be that I could park in any uncovered spot. I did not see the big sign that said if I did not live there I was at risk of being towed. Last night I walked to my car and it was missing. I panicked thinking it had been stolen and then Amy said, "Oh, they tow here." What a relief... Someone legally stole my car. I can at least bribe them to give it back to me. The bribe cost me $193.10.
I got there and it was of course a neckbeard. He was about 5'2" and 600 pounds. He made us wait 20 minutes while he finished his World of Warcraft game and finally said, "It'll be $193.10." How specific... I grumbled and not a single fuck was given. I was subjected to his whims if I wanted my car back.
Later after all of this was over I called Charles. I was in a shitty mood. I speculated, "He may have had someone sucking his dick back there in order to get her car back."
Of course Charles said, "It wasn't you was it?"
I indignantly said, "NO! I promised you I wouldn't suck anyone's dick. If he said that was the only way I could get it I would've called you."
Then he said, "Oh, so I'd have to suck his dick to get your car? I'm sorry Babe, but I don't love you that much."
At that we both laughed... I laughed so hard I was in tears by the end. We agreed never to suck anyone's dick even if it is on the other's behalf.
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