Whoever came up with the Cybex Arc Trainer is equally brilliant and sadistic. I have a love - hate relationship with this machine. I think they should have called it the "Ass Kicker" but some might perceive that as inappropriate.
Let me just say that people who go to the gym don't know it as the Arc Trainer. They know it as the "Thing that's kind of like a stair stepper" or the "grasshopper" and all agree that it's the hardest machine in the gym. They agree with my recommendations for a name change.
It is extremely efficient and it burns more calories than the other machines. Believe me when I say this, you will feel the burn, but here is their language from their website:
Research shows that the Cybex Arc Trainer burns more calories than any other cross trainer or elliptical cross trainer tested. The science behind the Arc Trainer’s big calorie burn is the Arc motion. It engages the right muscles – quads and glutes – that demand lots of energy from the body when they are called upon to work. That means big calorie burn. And ... because the Arc is demanding of the muscles – not the joints, it can be used longer without putting a strain on the knees, hip or back.
Whatever. It works.
My only complaint is the machine is stationed, at my gym, in front of the televisions that show Fox News, Telemundo and MTV. I usually have the tunes cranked so I can run through the obligatory 45 minutes I demand of myself at least 4 times a week. It's hard though not to read the captions. So on Fox News I can watch Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity spout lies, throw tantrums or spit venom. On MTV I can watch Snooki and JWoww be... well, them. My new favorite trash television is Buckwild which shows rednecks acting like idiots. It's like the Kentucky version of Jersey Shore. I live in Texas, I just have to walk outside to see that bullshit. Finally, there's Telemundo and I don't speak Spanish. Which one do I watch? Okay I have to admit MTV has captured some of my attention but of the three I prefer Telemundo.
I asked the gym if the channels could be changed and they said they were fixed. I'm sure they could be changed, technically, but there are little signs on each television that say what the channel is. I decided to keep it polite when they suggested I find another machine. All machines are not created equal. The Ass Kicker kicks my ass for a reason.
I have a few new neurotic ticks. When skinny people try to give me advice on how to eat or exercise I have to suppress the urge to put my foot on his or her throat and explain to them, "Losing 100 pounds required more than your uneducated opinion about me." I restrain myself because I know their intentions are good. I really do. I'm even considering one guy's advice of trying a vegan diet. I might last 12 minutes on it, but it's worth a shot. Still while he was offering his unsolicited advice I reminded myself why it's wrong to insult people and their mothers.
That is mixed in with my new hatred of magazines at the grocery store that have a picture of a rib-thin skinny celebrity showing off how she lost 30 pounds and went from healthy to damn near anorexic in only 6 weeks with the help of a very expensive personal trainer and personal chef. I want to shred the magazine with my teeth. The only thing that keeps me from turning to my baser animal instincts is that behavior tends to make others a bit uncomfortable. I might be asked not only to leave but to never come back. I'm really happy that I've never been to jail.
I realize there's nothing I can do about pop culture and its ludicrous obsession with being thin. It damages more than just my self esteem. I spoke with a girl yesterday who looks dangerously thin. She said she'd recently gained 40 pounds. She alluded to the fact that she "just wasn't eating." She understands the struggle with food. Her issues are bigger than mine were at 400 pounds. I may be at risk for the whole host of diseases associated with obesity but she's literally at risk of starving to death because something in her brain makes her not want to eat.
I wish the best for her. I wish the best for us all. And to those of you who think you know what's best, remember your struggles are different from mine. Don't get upset when I tell you how to quit smoking or stop drinking. It's fair game if you're going to tell me how to lose weight.
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