Television, the gym and penises

I do not own a television.

When I got divorced I gave the television to my ex-husband in exchange for my cat.  I find her far more entertaining.

That isn't to say I don't watch television shows.  The Internet is a wonderful thing.  With Netflix and iTunes and Hulu I am able to stay up to date on all my favorite shows.  What I don't get are the ads or the bulk of senseless crap they're putting on television.  I spent hours in front of my television watching America's Next Top Model and Friends re-runs.  I also played Rockband on my Wii and that was a lot of fun.  I'd consider buying another television if it would come with a Wii and two self-sustaining teenagers to play with me.

For some reason we, as a nation, care about the Kardashians, probably more than the Obamas.  Ask a thousand people their thoughts on sequestration and ask the same group about Snooki's baby and I'm fairly certain you'll get more information about the baby.  As I've stated in at least one earlier post, my choices at the gym are MTV, Fox News or Telemundo and I don't speak Spanish.  I understand Stupid enough to know I should reconsider what machines I use.

Yesterday I was donating platelets which takes a few hours and I was subjected to what the staff wanted to watch.  It wasn't so bad.  They were watching Tron which I hadn't seen and didn't want to see bad enough to quit listening to my music.  Then came a commercial for my favorite hummus.  That's when I felt like an idiot.

Whenever discussing hummus, I've asked people if they've heard of that brand and they always say yes.  I don't think it's as bad as saying, "Have you heard of these things called 'Fritos' or 'Dr. Pepper' or 'apples'?"  I suppose it just made me feel a little daft.

I realize today all this does is make me seem a little disconnected from the rest of society which isn't so bad.  I'm neither one of those people who only watches wrestling in the neighboring trailer nor am I one of those people who only reads physics periodicals.  I listen to NPR when I feel I'm not informed enough and I read a lot.  I also use Facebook.

Saying I depend some on social networking may make me sound like fall into the trailer park category, so let me be clear, it does not mean I depend on the captioned pictures of kittens for my news.  It means I find some fairly interesting articles on random topics and I am entertained by them.

I found this gem a few days ago on Facebook: Interesting penis facts.  Now you too can be an expert on penises because you read an article about it on the internet.

Just plain weird... and fun.

So on Friday night, I went with my boyfriend to a concert in Bastrop, TX. The band is called the Chubby Knuckle Choir.  No, I'm not kidding.  Yes, make all your redneck jokes.  Go ahead.  They're a really good band.  For real.  Just look at them.  How could a band this diverse not be a good, good band?

Several weeks ago I went to lunch with a guy who had a very distinctive posture and he too lived in the bustling metropolis of Bastrop.  There was a man there with a similar posture.  I realized they were the same person.  I confessed to my boyfriend, "Look, I went out to lunch with that guy.  He may stop by and say something."  They are apparently acquaintances. "You went out with him? Really? He's married."  I was tasked with updating him.

Now let me back up a bit.  I don't have this sordid history to be ashamed of.  I met them both via a personal ad and we went out.  Charles just happened to be far more appealing and he made me blush.  There's a certain appeal to being gently nudged outside your comfort zone.  The other guy was nice.  We were able to fill 45 minutes with conversation and he bought me lunch.  That was it.

Charles is a cheap date.  Two glasses of wine and he's giddy.  A direct quote is, "I'm a guy.  If it was funny in seventh grade, it's funny now."  He lives by this.  So I spent most of the night laughing and shaking my head as he giggled about "winning the Internet."

Finally the former date came to my table.  He said, "Do I know you?"  I nodded.  "Melissa, right?"  Yes.  He looked to Charles and Charles re-introduced himself and then, "Are you two together?" Collective nod.  "Oh, wow Man, congratulations.  This is a wonderful woman."  Then there were the usual platitudes and "oh it was just lunch," and "no hard feelings?" None.  Okay, good to see you, bye now.  Then he said, "Wow this is awkward." and I said, "Everything's fine."

When he left it was suggested, by Charles, to my surprise that my former date perceived the lunch we had as more than "just lunch."  What?... I felt terrible for a few minutes.  I worked through it pretty quickly.  

Let me be clear about one thing.  The former date made no attempt to contact me after the date so I just assumed he felt the same.  There was no chemistry.  He may have felt it, but I didn't and it's pretty hard to fake it.

Now, this next part is conjecture.  This conversation took place during the band's break.  One of the band members came to talk to is.  Charles and I were fond of each other.  He licked the hummus bowl and we agreed he was a cheap date.

I noticed the former date hadn't returned to his table.  There was a woman I presume was his date because she looked uncomfortable.  His phone was still on the table.  His liquor was still on the table.  His cooler was still next to the table.  Everyone at the table left about an hour later, leaving his things behind.  "I wonder where he went," was mentioned by one of us.

I can't help but wonder if he left because of me.  I don't take any responsibility for his angst or discomfort.  It was explained later that sometimes guys do this.  They make up this story in their minds about a woman and when it is destroyed it's devastating.  I can't imagine though that I would have that effect on anyone.

I can relate of course because I have been in a similar emotional scenario, but after lunch or coffee if I really felt a connection, the first few days would be rough.  After, I'd be fine.  If I did have that effect on him, it was several weeks later.  It's time to let go.

So, Charles and I spent the rest of the evening enjoying the band.  He told me about the band's history and the bass player's birthday.  He explained his relationship with Rory, the bongo and washboard player.  He's also an excellent singer.  He introduced me to Rory's wife and she is lovely.  All in all I had a really great evening and yet another interesting story to relate about my time with Charles.

To the lunch date, if you've discovered this blog, I wish you well.