Numbers don't add up

So, I've lost 19.6% of my body mass from when I started the program.  Let me begin with WOW! Who'd have thought 6 months ago I'd be here?  Okay 6 months ago I committed to the decision.  Who'd have thought a year ago I would be here?  I was "fine" with my weight.  I was "okay."  What did those doctor's know anyway?

For my birthday a 10 layer, yes 10 layer cake was made for me and I think I ate it all.  Okay maybe not all of it because there were other people there, but I did eat a good portion of it.  It was delicious.  DELICIOUS!  Now if it's too sweet, it tastes toxic.

I have been released to fruits and vegetables and I swear these cherries I bought were in syrup or something.  They were sooo sweet I couldn't finish the smoothie I made with them.  I think I may have also used too many, but still, a girl's got to dive in head first when she can.  And cherries don't do so well in smoothies, just sayin'.  Don't get me wrong, the first and maybe even the third gulp were delicious, but it started to make me sick in the end I couldn't finish it.

For those of you about to suggest I add carrots, butter or MSG to my shakes, no.  I will not have a carrot shake.  I haven't been released to butter or MSG and I am learning to respect boundaries.

So, I've lost 19.6% of my body mass, but I've only lost 10% of my BMI.  Of course I just looked it up on BMIcalc.org and I found this:

"...BMI poorly detects such conditions as various proportions of fat, muscular mass, bones, cartilage, and water volumes. BMI takes into account the height contribution to weight."

So there's the proof.  These guys are monitoring my heart.  I think it's because if you lose weight incorrectly you can lose heart tissue since you lose muscle mass.  I get my next EKG next week but I feel fine.  I'm fairly certain my heart is in good condition since I'm able to exercise harder than I was when I started the program.  If I'd only lost 10% of my fat that would imply that I may have lost 10% muscle and therefore, potentially 10% of my heart.  I don't think I would be or feel as healthy as I do if I'd lost 10% of my heart.

I remember the finality on February 1st.  I stared at the computer screen that night eating an apple with peanut butter convinced my life was over.  I'm moody as hell at times and I mean moods I've never experienced but right now I feel hopeful.  I feel like I've made the right decision.  I want to stay on this path.  It's no longer the struggle.  

I see other people in the class who are struggling and I try to encourage them as best I can.  There is nothing easy about this class.  There is nothing easy about this lifestyle decision.  I don't think it will ever be easy, but it feels right.

I want to get the before picture from my file and post it with a picture that was taken of me yesterday after I got my hair done.  I look really different.  Everyone says my face looks thinner.  I see a completely different person.  Perhaps in many ways I am a different person.